theblackmorals: (Uta 100 x 100)
[personal profile] theblackmorals
Chapter six

Band: Royz.
Characters: Subaru, Koudai, Kuina and mentions of others.
Main pairing: Subaru x Koudai.
Sub-pairings: Subaru x Kuina, Subaru x Tomoya, Subaru x Kazuki.

Rating: NC-17.
Genre/type: Canon, adultfic, erotica, PWP-fic.
Warnings: Yaoi/homosexuality/slash, NC17, lemon/explicit sex, sexual situations, consensual, serious PWP, WAFF/fluff.

Information about Subaru here.
Information about Koudai here.
Information about Royz here and here.
'Just another Sunday Morning' archive page here.

Relative time in play: Anytime within the last six months or so.
Relations: Not related to any other plays of mine.

Summary:
Subaru had often woken up in bed with either Kuina or Tomoya after a drunken night, and once or twice with Kazuki too, but he had never tried waking up with Koudai at his side before. They had of course fooled around many times in the past, both on and off stage, but this was different indeed. It probably should have felt weird, then, but it didn’t. It definitely didn’t…

And besides, they had obviously had sex the night before, and Koudai was lying wrapped around him now, naked skin flushed against naked skin, so any lines and limitations of friendship between them were long ago blurred and forgotten anyway, right? So, what was the use of suddenly feeling shy or embarrassed anyway? Why not take advantage of the situation, and have that beautiful body once more before reality came knocking?




~o~

OBS: This is not written in some alternative universe where everyone's gay and it's just the way of the world. This is supposed to be one-hundred percent realistic, and, though I never write bands to have more than one, maybe two gays members... well, I figured the gayest band in the world (which they totally are!<3) would be allowed to break the rule and have a full cast. Yes, I truly believe one of the criteria for joining Royz in the first place is to be as gay as the day is long... XD

~o~


Subaru didn’t need to be told twice – the second control was once again relinquished to him he instantly start snapping his hips, hard, fast, barely retracting at all before he thrust back in against the blessed heat and tightness; again and again and again as painfully swollen lips bruised together in feverish collisions; hard and heated, filled with tongue and teeth and mixing tastes of salt and sex.

Harder, deeper, straining bodies battling for dominance upon ruffled sheets, battling to reach the salient point where the very lines of their existence would blur, and they would all but liquefy in the unbearable heat of it all; where they would dissolve into each other, into one being of inseparable pleasure, warmth, pain and ecstasy.

His blood was boiling, coursing through his veins in the most throbbing of ways, and yet he couldn’t focus on anything but the feral need to swallow every last one of those deep, baritone moan echoing off the other man’s plump lips; kissing Koudai again and again and again as he barely let one touch break before initiating a new, equally passionate one.

God… The pleasure felt so good it almost hurt – literally hurt – as it burned through Subaru’s every cell, making every last nerve ending of his superheated body tie knots on itself as crystalline sweat scorched over the angry claw marks running down his back, and the tight walls smothered around him in the most innately beautiful of ways. He was already so close, so very close to losing himself, his mind and his body, and it was probably the first time ever that he found himself hating his inability to keep his orgasm at bay, to prolong the moment before he would unravel in that last fundamental peak of carnal pleasure.

He didn’t want it to be over… not yet… not now…

Subaru…

His name fell from cherry lips when the feverish heat between them became too much, too overwhelming, and they had to break apart. They were both panting hard then, almost fighting for breaths, and hands continued to claw at his perspiration-slicked body and thighs pressed hard at his slender sides as he never stopped, not even for a second, but kept thrusting and thrusting, even as every painful, burning intake of breath made his throat and lungs feel almost raw. It didn’t matter; nothing mattered but to get deeper, to get more of that amazing body that yielded to him so perfectly, so willingly, engulfing him in scorching embraces with every lubricant-slicked plunge.

Subaru…

Aaghn…

Su…baru…

Again and again, it was like a mantra; soft, breathy and laced with a world of pleasure and pain; calling for him, pleading for him, urging him on even though he never stopped, even though he had no intention of stopping, so sensually mindless in its continuation and intentions.

Aaaghnn…

God… Subaru whimpered inaudibly as the sweltering whirlpool in the pit of his stomach flip-flopped, tearing at its restraints with dangerous force. It was all so painstakingly arousing; Koudai seemed lost to the world as he laid there beneath him, writhing, thrashing, painted eyelids glued tightly shut and dark eyebrows knitted into a soft crease as every hard, deep movement inside of him pushed him up and down on the ruffled sheets in a sensual rhythm, sweat-slicked skin sliding against sweat-slicked skin in scorching touches. In and out, up and down, slow and hard; again and again and again…

Subaru…

Oh, fuck… Subaru…

Subaru cocked his head down in the next moment, to shower the beautiful expand of bruised ivory of Koudai’s long neck with open-mouthed kisses, letting out his own breathy moans and gasps against the taste of liquid salt, and every frantic jump of the great vein running right beneath the honeyed surface vibrated against his lips. He was all but teetering on the edge, so close to erupting he could almost taste his release on the tip of his tongue, sensually mixing with the tastes of salt and sex, and yet he forgot all about it for a split second when sharp nails came to dig harder into his sensitive skin ---

Aaagh…

Subaru…

Oh… God… Baru…

Please…

The mere touch of his impish lips against the sensitive, marred skin made the older man moan out even louder, erratic breathing hitching as the sculpted hands clawed painfully up over his fevering skin to once again bury in the mess of his sensitive hair, mindlessly entangling and pulling. A few of his extensions would probably come loose before this was over, but Subaru couldn’t care less. Definitely couldn’t care less, not when ----

Subaru… stop…

Barely had the words entered his pleasure-hazed mind before the dexterous fingers in Subaru’s half-long hair tightened to an almost painful hold and he was all but yanked off the beautiful skin, his head drawn back a few inches by soft force. He gasped out loudly then, confused, though the fingers loosened again almost instantly, to thread through the hazel brown locks instead, apologetically and sweetly. But…

Slight fear caught hold of his racing heart for just a split second, even before the beautiful vocalist could truly comprehend what had just happened, and he instinctively stilled the movements of his hips as he drew a little more back and up, enough to make their faces level once again. Oh, God… Had the callings of his name been a way to try to get him to stop all along, and not just an incessant chant of heavenly pleasure and beautiful pain as he had thought? - Had he been too rough? - Had he hurt him?

Any such fear washed away instantly though, when Subaru found Koudai smiling warmly up at him when their eyes met, the other pair swimming to such an extent that they now looked almost ashen in color; their outline was blurred with melted crystal, ebony and ivory liquefying into one. Then the strong hands trailed forth to cup his flushed cheeks in the next moment, the slightly calloused fingertips burning against his skin (or maybe it was his skin which was burning against them…), and dark mischief glistened in those beautiful pools as cherry lips whispered out; “Flip me over,” in the most sensually hoarse, pleasure-laced voice, long before he could even ask what or why.

“Wha…” Subaru’s jaw dropped a little as a sharp spike of excitement made his throbbing, rubber-clad cock twitch hard against the deep and those silky, slicked walls hugging around him, smothering him, sheeting him in heavenly softness and warmth, “Really?”

“Mmmn,” Koudai nodded and then chuckled cutely, almost drunkenly, as his thumbs caressed over the upper part of Subaru’s cheeks in the sweetest way, a stark contrast to the dark and daring look in his shadowy pools and the devious curl of plump, rosy lips, “You said last night it was your favorite position, right? That it turns you on more than anything else?”

“Yeah, it does…”

The young vocalist smiled almost coyly then, though it was really an open secret more than anything else; one look at the chekis they sold at their concert and you would know as much – there were always at least three or four polaroids of him dry-humping one of the others from behind; having them bent over at his will, his hands clutching at their hips, his groin flushed hard against their asses...

Even during such a mock-show -supposedly- meant purely for their fans’ satisfaction and delight, Subaru couldn’t hide his arousal at the position, the implications and the delicious associations of having someone bent over for him like that; it was always written all over his angelic face, in the wicked glint of his eyes and the devious smirk on his lips (which luckily only made the fans love the photos even more). It really was his favorite position - or, it had been anyway, before Koudai’s little move before, of riding him~

Well, then draw out of me, so I can get on my hands and knees for you…” Koudai cooed with a dirty smirk as one of those sensually calloused thumbs moved down to slide over Subaru’s swollen lower lip, making the plump, velvety skin prickle lightly beneath the soft touch.

Fuck… Subaru moaned low in his throat and shivered visibly, heavy eyelids fluttering close for just a second as the lasciviously sinful words echoed through his mind. “God, you really are amazing…” he whispered softly, in a mindless afterthought, as his heart leapt away in his chest, and he had to focus all of his strength, every last ragged ounce of it, on not just coming right then and there, from the heartwarming adoration and sweltering desire he felt for his best friend - the ones that almost threatened to consume him whole in that very moment.

Had anyone ever been more amazing to him than Koudai was just then?

Had anyone ever given him so much, and made him feel so good?

“Don’t sound so surprised, Baru,” the crimson-haired bassist chuckled softly, his swollen, reddened lips tugging down into a playful frown of mock-annoyance, and he poked the younger man’s button nose with a long, slender finger, “Or I’ll get offended…”

Subaru laughed at that; a sweet, soft rustle of almost innocent happiness, and his prickling lips tugged apart in his world-famous toothpaste smile that almost reached from ear to ear. “No surprise here,” he replied with a teasing, cheesy wiggle of his eyebrows before he bent down – and subsequent buried himself a little deeper inside the straining heat, which caused them both to moan out heatedly – so he could whisper; “Just… so much lust I can barely contain it…” against those cherry lips, before claiming them in a deep, toe-tingling kiss.

Koudai instantly moaned against the kiss, and those beautiful lips parted long before the brown-haired youth’s impish tongue could even come prodding, welcoming him into the hot cavern with eager willingness. In there, pink tongue met pink tongue in a slow, intimate dance, and sculpted chest slid against sculpted chest as they moved together to the pace of lips brushing over lips, as they exchanged one hot breath between them in the slow, sensual rhythm of tongues twined and untwined.

Mmm, good…” the redhead whispered breathily when they broke apart moments later, slowly and leisurely, this time letting the kiss break naturally rather than by force. They both seemed to take a moment then, just a moment, in the middle of the craziness and the frenzy of pleasure and lust to just… appreciate being there in each other’s arms, joined in the most innately intimate of ways. “Because I don’t want you to contain it.

Subaru smiled warmly, just panting quietly for a few seconds before he then cocked his head down – once again pushing further inside Koudai’s slicked body at the movement, which tore another deep moan from them both – to ghost his kiss-swollen lips over the other man’s rounded jaw, from his chin and all the way up to his unpierced ear. The pink snip of his tongue darted out then, to lick lightly over the sensitive outer shell, before he breathed out; “I’m glad… because I doubt I’ll get much more than inside of you before I lose myself… I’m so close, Kou… so insanely close…” in the most sinfully husky voice.

God…

Koudai had barely moaned out in appreciation of his words before the beautiful vocalist snapped his strong hips again, just once, hard and fast, brushing the other man’s prostate head on in the most lasciviously hurtful collision.

F-fuck!

Another series of deep moans, intermixed with a string of heady whimpers and heavy bouts of mindless thrashing and pleasure-ridden writhing, and they were both right back on track; right back to feeling the sweltering impatience and fiery arousal of before, of their straining, throbbing bodies and the scorching, carnal necessity for the release that was already dripping from them both, that was already leaking out of their every pore, out of every cell of their beings. Breaths instantly elevated in voluptuous desire, and views blackened over with ravenous lust as lips crushed together in another bruising kiss, once again filled with teeth and tongue and sinful traces of salt.

Please fuck me…

Koudai was trembling again, his adroit fingers tightening mindlessly in hazel brown strands as he whimpered in the most lasciviously arousing of ways, his liquid pools darkening with desire as Subaru responded by biting down on his plump lower lip, and pulling sensually at it, pearly teeth sinking into the precious velvet in a dangerous hold.

Please, Baru… please…

Unable to deny the request any longer – since he was dying for it himself, too - Subaru chuckled drunkenly and nodded before he finally drew back. He hoisted himself up more fully on his arms so he could crawl back slowly, carefully, sliding out of the blessed heat with a delicious wet sound of rubber and sticky lubricant.

God…

The young vocalist stilled for a second then, as he just sat back on his shins on the black sheets, the loss of the blessed warmth and tightness around his throbbing cock making him shiver as a sea of goose bumps ran over his fair skin, chilling him even through the heat of his coiling blood and the pending release boiling in the pit of his stomach.

It only lasted for a second though, the overwhelming feeling of loss, before Koudai began to move, as he drew one shaky leg up so he could turn around. Subaru reached in with a devious smirk then, quickly, and pinned those slender hips right back down to the sheets with sensual force, and he loved the confused whimper it earned him; the way the neediness and impatience were dripping off the beautiful baritone in the most sensual of ways.

Not yet,” the beautiful vocalist almost purred as he bent forwards, darting out the pink snip of his impish tongue to run it over the swollen, red head of Koudai’s engorged cock, just once, gathering the thick beads of whitish saline precum which had gathered there.

F-fuck…

The crimson-haired bassist gasped out heatedly at the very first much-needed touch to his burning desire, and the strong hips instantly flexed hard beneath Subaru’s small hands, instinctively trying to thrust up against the wet, dirty lick of his tongue. The beautiful vocalist held him down though, with deceiving force, as he then began to run his devious tongue up and down the swollen, hard flesh, all the way from tip to base, before swirling the pink snip around the leaking head, under the ridge and deep into the slit.

God…

Oh… my… God…

Baru…

Please…

The veined skin was tainted with an unpleasantly strong tang of salt, the thick precum making his taste buds vibrate and tie knots of themselves, but the brown-haired youth didn’t mind; it was the unique taste of Koudai, and Koudai’s pleasure, and he cherished it as such, lapping up every single droplet with inaudible moans of appreciation. Again and again, licking up and down the hardened flesh, then swirling his impish tongue around the head, nails sinking into bony hips as he pushed his own impatience and burning need for release into the background for just a second, just long enough to make the older man join him there, at the edge of insanity, feet teetering at the cliff.

Fuck…

Fuck, fuck, fuck…

It took mere minutes for Koudai to close in on the edge, too, the taste of salt intensifying more and more with every dirty, skillful lick, and soon Subaru could almost taste his release, could almost taste the thick, white ribbons of carnal pleasure. Then he stopped, abruptly, and a stupid, happy grin spread to his painfully swollen lips at the near-pathetic whimper of exasperation it earned him from rosy lips, and he scratched his black-painted nails hard down over the enticing hollownesses of femininely narrow hips before he finally released them too, and pulled away.

Turn around,” the beautiful vocalist demanded in the same kind of sensual growl Koudai had used on him earlier, and hazel brown eyes glinted with mischief as he moved back completely, and to the side, cocking one eyebrow up in a challenge as he waited for the other man to stop trembling and whimpering, to collect his mind, and do as he was told.

Aah…

I…

Now, Subaru could have easily flipped him over with the help of his hands, and lessened some of the strain and work for Koudai, but… God, it was just so sexy to see him fight to get up just then, fleshy limbs trembling, taut muscles flexing, the sheen of crystalline sweat glistening in the white sunlight as that gorgeous body turned over on the ruffled sheets and positioned itself on hands and knees as requested; those petite, rounded ass cheeks strutting up into the air in the most perfectly submissive of ways…

And the way Koudai reached up in the next second, to take hold of his near-waist-long crimson hair and guided it to the side, over one of his shoulders so it wouldn’t get tangled, in what could only be described as the most feminine of ways, only added to the perfectness of it all; it was so beautiful to Subaru, so graceful, and so damn sexy he couldn't even describe it.

God, Kou…” the young vocalist whispered in an appreciative moan as he edged up behind that gorgeous body, on his knees, and, though he had meant to take it slow, to enjoy this to the fullest before finally moving on, his delicate hands had barely parted those slicked globes before he thrust forth in a heady leap of burning desire and arousal, burying him as deep as humanly possible inside the tight heat, in one go, hips colliding with skin so hard and fast they both almost toppled over from the sheer brutal force.

F-fuck!

Koudai let out a half-strangled cry of pained pleasure at the sudden, deep and hard penetration; his slender arms instantly gave away beneath him and he fell forth, his pristine face burying in the sheets in the most arousingly ungraceful of ways - and he stayed there, not even fighting to push off the sheets again, his entire body trembling heavily at the sinful satisfaction of being filled to the brim and beyond. The only reason his hips stayed up just then was because of Subaru’s strong, almost bruising hold on them; the black-painted nails cutting into soft skin.

God…” the beautiful vocalist rasped out in a deep moan of his own when he was completely buried inside that perfect body once again, and he mindlessly dampened his swollen lips with the pink snip of his tongue as his own body quaked in heavenly pleasure, and his eyelids fluttered shut.

Instantly stilling then, his femininely flat chest started heaving fast again, erratically, like he had just run a marathon, and his heart raced away almost painfully beneath his thin ribcage as he fought with all his might to hold back the whirlpool of carnal pleasure that was already leaking into his bloodstream, like tickles of crystal water seeping from a crumbling dam. Fuck…

And yet, in spite of being so close it was already whitening his senses, Subaru somehow found the strength and the will to pace himself for just a split second as he reopened his eyes and took in the glorious sight of that gorgeous backside; the femininely curved plane of sweat-glistening ivory skin, the taut muscles, the clearly defined spine and the strong, prominent shoulder blades running right beneath it... Hungrily, his hazel brown eyes ran all the way from the mess of crimson hair, down over narrow shoulders, down over the slender waist and then finally to those beautiful ass cheeks, pushed apart, forced apart as their bodies were flushed together, joined in the strongest link known to man. God… this… this was why this was his favorite position… right here, this…

And then his self-control and patience ended.

Tightening his hold on those narrow hips, to the point where his adroit fingers whitened and cramped painfully, and his nails breached the fair skin in blood-lined crescent half-moons, Subaru retracted half his rock-hard length before he thrust in again with the same amount of brutal force as before. Hard, deep, flushing strong hips against soft ass cheeks in a bruising collision that only pressed the other man’s face harder down into the ruffled sheets; again, and again, and again, retracting, thrusting back in, retracting, thrusting back in, as the delicious slapping sounds of wet lubricant and skin bruising mixed with deep, heady moans and pleasure-strangled whimpers and gasps.

Aaagh…

Fuck…

Aaaghnnng…

Once, twice, again and again; sinking into the scorching heat and the overwhelming pleasure, into the sinful indecency of such uninhibited, rough sex, the abyss of one of the basest carnal desires, one of the basest carnal sins; again and again bruising those petite, heart-shaped ass globes with hard collision upon hard collision, deeper and deeper and deeper.

Aaah…

God…

"Oh... God..."

It took mere minutes – maybe even just seconds – before Subaru’s straining body suddenly racked with another bout of twitches, a heavier one that made his breath hitch painfully in his throat, and then he suddenly stilled in that unnatural second where the glorious heat pooling in his core fluctuated before it finally broke loose of its restrains. With a deep, feral moan the beautiful vocalist finally came undone in the heavenly glory of white pleasure, filling the thin rubber shielding Koudai’s body from the ribbons of his seeds, the heat of his passion, the proof of his sin, as the whole world blurred from his mind and he became one with the warmth and pleasure drenching his soul.

Aaaaaggghnnnn…




Previous Chapter Next Chapter / Final Chapter




- don't be a silent reader -
Please leave a comment and make me happy~ ヽ(*´ω`)ノ゚ ♥


First of all;
Was this even sexy at all? - I just couldn't seem to get it right... T______T; I've used days on going back and forth, trying to get it out the way I wanted, since this is the second last chapter and I wanted it to be just perfect and steamy and amazing, but... I dunno if I succeeded...? ;A;


And btw. “chekis” are those small polaroid photos which are sold (/sometimes given out) at Japanese concerts – they’re collector’s items, and are often sold with an album to organize them in. And Royz make… the most amazing chekis of themselves! Filled with fanservice and nakedness and… just a sensory overload of indecency and sin and~ guuuuh~ *o*


Oh, yes, and another little KouD x Subaru fanservice treat while you wait for the next chapter;  here~~ two of said chekis with le sexy dry-humping~ <3

Date: 2013-01-24 11:27 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SPOT!

Date: 2013-01-24 11:52 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Oh, my gackt, this was so hot!! Amazing!!

But is the next chapter reallyn the last? :'-( I don't want it to end!!

Date: 2013-01-24 12:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
Oh, you really thought so? ;A; Thank you so much<3

And yeah, sadly it is^^;

Date: 2013-01-24 02:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pigurou.livejournal.com
finally after the long wait this is aeihtjgasngodsughostknre can't even find the right word to say
I assume that you are better now ^^
And I don't want it to be end too T.T

Date: 2013-01-24 02:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
Haha, awwww, well, I hope it's a good thing at least?^____~

I'm a little better, but I have a really bad migraine these days>_____< So that's also part of why this was so delayed, I'm sorry ;A; But thank you<3

Well, I have a small surprise when it's done, so don't worry~ ^____~ Won't be the last of these two, I can promise that much~

Date: 2013-01-24 03:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pigurou.livejournal.com
its OK you don't have to be sorry about it, health comes first and its worth all the waits ^^
and I love surprise I'll wait for it \(^o^)/

Date: 2013-01-24 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
Awww, thank you for being so sweet and understanding^o^/

And I'm glad to hear you think the story's worth the waits~^^

Date: 2013-01-24 03:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rechino-reno.livejournal.com
OMG! *nosebleed*
thank you.

Date: 2013-01-24 03:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
Aww, thank you for reading and commenting :3

Date: 2013-01-24 03:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kaiser1103.livejournal.com
They are being so creative with their chekis!
Ohhh Subaru's favourite position~~

Date: 2013-01-24 03:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
I don't know if 'creative' more like über-perverted is the right word but... yeah, something along those lines, definitely xD

And yeah, I think it is^____~ xD

Date: 2013-01-24 05:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xadowangel.livejournal.com
What in the name of gazette have you done!!! Hothohothothot!

*fainted of excessive heat*

Take me to a naked kuina now or i'm gonna die!

*dies*

Date: 2013-01-24 05:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
Haha, weren't you supposed to be sleeping, young lady? XD *pokes*

*gives nakkid Kuina CPR* there~ XD Better?
Edited Date: 2013-01-24 05:28 pm (UTC)

Date: 2013-01-24 06:53 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
This was... more porn than actual porn... XDDDD SO HOT!!

Date: 2013-01-24 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
Wow, that's quite the compliment XD Thank you so much~ <3

Date: 2013-01-25 06:06 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
It was definitely sexy and steamy and perfect!!!
These two are meant for each other! So sweet and playful and loving!!

Please update soon (^oo^)/

Hugs.

Date: 2013-01-25 11:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
Oh, I'm so glad you thought so!^^; I was so worried about this^^;

And they really are perfect for each other, aren't they? <3 *huggles them*

Thank you so much for reading and commenting^-^

Date: 2013-01-25 12:32 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Oh, no! :-( Is the next chapter the last?! I don't want it to end! I just read the entire thing in one go and I'm SO addicted! Please don't end it XD I need it!

And jesus - THIS WAS HAWTTTT!! So amazing < 3

Roxy.

Date: 2013-01-25 12:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
Haha, aww, yeah, it is^^; But I have a small surprise waiting, so this is not going to be the last we've seen of these two, don't worry~ ^____~
And really, in one go? XD wow~ Well, I'll try not to let you wait too long for the ending then^___~

Thank you so much for commenting<3 I'm glad you thought it was hot ;______; <3

Date: 2013-01-25 03:28 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
It was so hot! You good fellow author! What a pity that the following chapter will be the last T_T

Date: 2013-01-25 05:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
Oh, I'm so glad to know you thought so<3 ^^

And I have a little surprise for you~ I'll reveal it after the next chapter, but I can promise it won't be the last of these two and their sexy adventures^___~

Thank you for reading and commenting<3

Date: 2013-01-25 11:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mad-reikoku.livejournal.com
FINALLY I managed to get through all the chapters. It's now over midnight, oups. :3

First I'd like to say that this is very well written, it shows that you spend a lot of time (if you don't then you must be superior somehow) in both coming up with ideas, writing it, adjusting things to make it flow easier etc etc. This might be an awkward thing to say, but you also seem to /know/ what you're doing. For the reader, it feels real, like something that could happen irl as well.

However, the only negative thing I can find about this fanfic, that you might find useful for future fanfics is that you have a tendency to repeat yourself. However it doesn't affect the plot much, or how it all evolves, I would even say it fits into the way of writing. As if that made any sense now... ^^'

Anyway, over all it was great, and I'm totally going to recommend this fanfic to my friends. :) Great to see someone pairing up Subaru with Koudai for once!

Keep up the good work~ :3 (also i hope you didn't mind that i added you as a friend for like... a few hours ago ww)

Date: 2013-01-26 07:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
Well, as with my drawings too, I spend like twenty percent of the time writing the entire chapter down, and then eighty percent on touch-up, you know, reading it through again and again, adding, editing, deleting, constantly trying to find the right flow^^; I'd love to say it just comes out like this in the first draft, but that would be pure and simple lying xD But I'm very glad you appreciate all my hard work then, and think it pays off (which is one of the things I worry about the most) :3

And yeah, it might be a slightly awkward notion (<3), but it's also one of the biggest compliments I've ever gotten :3 The whole point of this is to make one feeling like it could have happened; that somewhere, in that fic heaven parallel universe that surely exists out there, it did happen just like this^^' I try so hard to make every detail count, to write out every single second to make it as realistic as possible (at least as realistic as a girl can write man on man action anyway xD). I always worry it's a drag to read because of the draw-out and the meticulous attention to detail, so your comment really means the world to me<3 Thank you so much<3

(And it's always nice to hear that you got the whole man-sex thing down xD)

Oh, and in regards to that, the repeating. Writing out every detail as I said; every single moment, every fleeting thought and emotion, I know there are bound to be some sense of repetition - I think it kinda goes with the flow of the story, as you said, but I do try to be watchful about it too. Are there any particular places where you noticed obvious repetition, or in any particular/general parts of the overall story? I'd love to know so I can think on it, maybe rephrase and perfect this before adding the final chapter later today, and remember it for future use? :3

Thank you so, so much for such a sweet and encouraging comment, and the advice <3 It really means a lot to me that you took the time out to write such a detailed comment :3 And of course I don't mind you adding me^-^ I added you back too~

Date: 2013-01-26 01:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mad-reikoku.livejournal.com
Ah, I noticed that you added me back. Thank you~ <3
One thing that I forgot to mention in my previous comment, is that thanks to this fic; I got all of my inspiration back that has been gone for months XD ww

And well, a long c/c comment is always the best comment, because it gives the writer a chance to improve their work :3 So I tend to take time and write long and detailed ones~

About the part where I felt that you repeated a lot of things; I can't really remember which chapter it was (or if it's correct either, forgive my memory it is horrible) but you kept using the word "femininely" a lot. Nothing wrong with it, just try to work with synonyms~ There aren't any for that word though, but it's what I feel that you can keep in mind. ^^

I'll look forward to the new chapter <3

Date: 2013-01-29 08:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
Aww, well, I'm glad to hear that^^ Always nice to know that one's stories inspire~

About the repetition thing, I get what you mean now. But actually, that's deliberately done, using the same adjectives etc. for descriptions. Writing in this style, I find that it will often be a tad confusing with all the "he"s and "him"s, you know, to figure out who's who and who's doing what etc. So I choose some specific descriptive adjectives and denotations right from the start, like "the crimson-haired bassist", which I will then repeat every time I describe that particular person or thing - like with the "femininely", which I believe was Koudai's eyes and his thighs. That way I hope the reader will be able to recognize who I'm talking about, even if no names are mentioned^^; But, if you think it disrupts the flow, I will definitely take it into advisement for future works^^

Thank you again<3

Date: 2013-01-29 07:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mad-reikoku.livejournal.com
Although I feel like my work is more like something the cat drags in that worth publishing, after I read yours. x_X

Aaah, now I get it. *imagine a lightbulb lightning up over my head here please*
It does not disrupt the flow. Especially not now when I know why you did it, I thought it was something unwitting. :3 Clearly it wasn't. And it's up to you if you want to take it into advisement for future works, I mean, since it isn't that, how should I put it; disrupting? In my opinion, if you feel like this or any other work is a story where you need to give them special words to describe them with, like you said, then do it~~ Because I have to agree that it gets messy with all "he"s and "him"s etc. Just look at my KWP fanfic and we have a splendid example of total "what the fuck is going on?" *laughs* Maybe it even is so that I should get a hold on your way of writing here to avoid that myself.

Btw I read the last chapter, it was amazing as expected~ <3

Date: 2013-01-31 06:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
Aww, I'm sure that's not true... ^^;

And thank you so much, I'm glad you thought so<3 ^^

Date: 2013-01-26 05:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] faewitchkins.livejournal.com
'Was this sexy?' WAS THIS SEXY???? *grabs fluffy heart pillow and beats you over the head with it*

OMG!!!! From the first word to the last non-stop orgasmic, delicious, delightful, perfect, amazing sex. Holy muffins!! This was beyond incredible! Were this a movie it would be XXX rated and no where near as cheesy or idiotic as those films. This is like Academy Award winning porn!

Read this yesterday, twice! And both times yeah! I would have commented then but was on my phone and for some reason lately it's hit or miss with even trying to get on to LJ via my iPhone.

The fact that all the previous chapters were leading up to this was just... WOW! The build up to this point is pure perfection and every second of this chapter is just unbelievable. They cling to each other's breaths, live for the moment, and good lord it is just impeccably written. You my dear are beyond amazing. This wasn't just straight porn for porn's sake it was a beautiful seduction of poetry and prose in the form of flesh against flesh... gah... sorry rambling but damn! I hope you understand what I'm trying to say... It was perfection <3

Date: 2013-01-26 07:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
First of all; *beaten senseless with fluffy heart-shaped pillow* ... T-thank you... XD;

Second of all; "This is like Academy Award winning porn!" - oh, this made me laugh so hard; thank you so much for that xD *laughs* But I really appreciate the sentiment though, and I'm happy to know that -although you still think of this as hot, filthy, delicious porn- it's not comparable to those cheesy porno movies (which are more awkward and ridiculous than actually sexy, in my opinion)-____- That makes me really happy, so thank you very much^___~ <3

And that's okay<3 I've been looking forward to your comment, and it was definitely worth the wait just to be smiling like this, right now, like a happy idiot :3 I'm still caught up in my insomnia, and haven't slept at all for about 48 hours now and I'm dying T___T, but somehow that's pretty much forgotten right now in all your sweet, happiness-inducing porn praises~ XD I still can't believe that a writer as stupidly talented as you can like my stories to such an extent... ;____; "A beautiful seduction of poetry and prose in the form of flesh against flesh" - ugh, it makes me so happy<3

Thank you so, so much<3 *glomps* You're just way too sweet to, and encouraging and supportive of, me :3

But we're not completely done! Next up; the final chapter; Koudai's release~

Date: 2013-01-27 07:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] faewitchkins.livejournal.com
You're welcome ;P Any time you need a reminder of just how amazing of a writer you are that pillow will come out xD

Ah well it's true but glad I made you laugh. Definitely not comparable in any way shape or form. Awkward and embarrassing to be sure. Were they to base a scene off this people would think they were watching an actual movie with script and plot and yeah!

Awww I'm sorry you're still battling with that. Are you going through a stressful time or just something that's a common occurence? Sometimes warm milk with a bit of honey helps to make you sleepy and then there's also Valarian Root which is sold in the vitamin section, it's kind of like an herbal valium it helps to relax you so you can sleep but check with your doctor first before taking it. Hopefully you will be able to get some sleep soon, I know that's rough going without sleep for long periods. *hugs*

*laughs* ~porn praises~ LOL I'm glad and I mean what I said. You are an extremely talented writer and damn straight I'm going to encourage you! *nods*
You're too sweet and very kind but thank you

I read it and of course died LOL

<3<3<3

Date: 2013-01-28 09:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
I threaten you with Kuina and Subaru sex, and you threaten me with a heart-shaped pillow beating? XD Healthy relationship we have, I must say ROLF XD

Yeah, no, I've always suffered from insomnia (I have chronicle migraine-headaches, and am immune to painkilling medicine, so the pain will keep me up quite often, sadly T_T), but it's extra bad right now because I've had exams and am just generally stressed out^^; So milk and honey probably won't work, but thank you for the advice, and for caring<3 I just need things to calm down, and then I'll probably get some real sleep again~ (....If not, I might like you to beat me unconscious with said pillow XD...)

And ~porn praises~ indeed xD But really, thank you so much<3 You don't know what your comments mean to me :3

Sorry for killing you <3 XD

Date: 2013-01-29 06:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] faewitchkins.livejournal.com
ROFLMAO! A very healthy relationship indeed.

Oh man that really sucks. I'm so sorry to hear that. I know how painful those can be. Have you tried massage therapy on your feet while in the midst of one or at the start? Rubbing the balls of your feet on a rounded table edge or with your fingers (better yet someone else's) in the middle between the two halves of the balls does wonders. Hopefully as the stress eases the headaches will subside too. You have a deal LOL

You're most welcome hon and I am very very glad.

Oh please kill me some more so I can lavish you with even more ~porn praises~ <3<3<3 ^_^

Date: 2013-01-29 10:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
Definitely healthy, yes XD

I get massages on a weekly basis, to ease whatever it can, but I've never really tried my feet though. I will definitely try that next time; if it can help even just a little bit that would be amazing<3 Thank you so much for caring~ <3 ^^ But yes, I got quite the deal here - try getting operated on without being able to have even an ounce of the pain numbed by pain killing medicine... that's not fun, let me tell you that T___T *headdesk*

Okay, I promise to kill you more in the future, if you promise to repay me with more delicious ~porn praises~ ^___~ LOL *huggles*

Date: 2013-01-30 05:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] faewitchkins.livejournal.com
Hmmm what about chiropractic care? Just a thought if you're not already doing it, can often help with headaches/migraines too. You're welcome hon, hate the thought of anyone being in pain, especially friends and peeps I care about. Know what it's like and not fun. I could not even begin to imagine what that would be like... ;_;

Yesssss! most definitely! :)

*glomps and huggles*

Date: 2013-01-31 05:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
Yeah, I have weekly appointments at a chiropractor, a physiotherapist and a masseuse, so I think I'm pretty covered there^^; Being immune to painkillers, I'm pretty much forced to try everything else - anything to help ease the pain even just a little. So I'm doing what I can, definitely :3

And thank you so much<3 It's always nice to know that you're cared about^-^ <3

*huggles tightly and gives naked Kuina and Subaru to play with* :3

Date: 2013-01-31 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] faewitchkins.livejournal.com
Definitely sounds like you've got all your bases covered, only thing missing would be an acupuncturist.

Aww you're welcome <3<3

Gah!!! *smothers you in glompy huggles then runs off to play with Kuina and Subaru... ah better yet makes them play with each other* XD

Date: 2013-02-02 05:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theblackmorals.livejournal.com
Well, you will not find a person in the entire world who is more afraid of needles than me, so that won't happen I'm afraid^^; It's my biggest phobia. It's so bad I've let doctors cut in me without anesthesia, just to avoid the needle of such... XD It's quite the problem for me actually...^^; But yup, other than that, all bases covered here xD

Of course you were meant to let them play with each other xD Put them in a playpen, give them some... ahem, toys... and just watch them play xD (preferably with your video camera buzzing) XDDD <3 *huggles*

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